Saturday, 16 April, 2011

Let's NOT talk about Marriage!

Okay, here I start! Although I am single and unmarried but I do have quite a number of YOUNG friends who are married.  My married female friends are like the happiest women on this earth. They keep bragging about their hubbies and how their life changed after this miracle called- Marriage. But the thing is not same with most of my male friends. I am not saying that they are NOT happy but their condition is like they are trapped and they would often tell me that ‘ SHE’ was really not like this before and blah blah, and I just keep listening to them, because that’s the only thing I could do and also I don’t  have any experience about marriage to share.

Picture Courtesy:

At my previous office, my editor gave me a topic to write for the weekly column for the newspaper and the topic was ‘Marriage and Youngistan’. After that I roamed around the entire office, upstairs, downstairs and met every single employee there who was married.  I questioned my floor warden who was 29 and married that, ‘are you happy being married’? He told me that, ‘you know Sanjana, being married and being happy are two different things…’ and he laughed. Even today, I wonder why the hell he laughed that day. 


My male colleagues kept telling me that Love is blind but marriage is the tool that opens up your eyes. Bleh!  And I used to give them weird look and they used to reciprocate to it. :| I couldn’t even believe that day when one of my colleagues sent me an e-mail containing several jokes on marriage.  All men are stupid, I used to murmur it to myself!  Shaddi ke baad girlfriend chudeil ban jaati hai aur pati ka band baj jaata hai…ladkiyan itna kharcha kyu karti hain? And they kept going on till the day I really submitted my article.


There were many researches and surveys done on how to live a long life and the result which came out apparently was marriage. My friend, Vikas told me this when I was assigned to write this article. I was really thankful to him for helping me with this article but after that little help, I myself had no idea that he would give me a huge lecture on this topic. He said, ‘I don’t know why but this result never convinces me. I mean, according to this result, if you wish to live long, you should marry?  Is this a joke? Maybe after marriage, one realizes that chuck the thought of living long because after that your thinking ability gets lost and one also realizes that you cannot live for long time peacefully now.’ I was stunned to hear all this crap from his mouth because he was the one who was in a relationship with a girl from more than past 2 years and also was married to her but their respective family wasn’t aware of all this. Moreover, he used to talk to her girlfriend on phone all time long even at working hours and everybody on the floor knew about his secret love.  I personally was very much interested in his love story and always tried to inquire from him that how you guys met and how you guys fell for each other and how this secret marriage happened and all that.


But that day I realized one fact about Vikas that he is no different from other guys and men always will be men. Afterwards I even asked Vikas that why he’s saying like this? And after that, I couldn’t believe my eyes, he actually started sulking and his first dialogue was, ‘main toh phans gaya yaar’ and I said, ‘kya baat kar raha hai yaar?  Further he told me that he fell for a wrong girl, she doesn’t give him his space and always force him to tell everything about them to his family and he told me many things and at the end I was so irritated and so confused that I was at loss of words and had no reaction to his situation. 


I am not saying that every man is like my friend Vikas but most of them are like him or maybe they only show that they don’t really like this institution named marriage but within they are one romantic chap who would love their wife truly, madly and deeply. 

I wonder why there isn’t any love story or poem made on any married couple (Please don’t name Baagbaan :P)? Why we only get to see heart wrenching love stories like Romeo and Juliet or Laila-Majnu


There are numerous jokes made on this interesting topic, where you get to see the pity condition of a poor guy called husband, and a lady wearing loads of make-up enjoying her status of being a wife. I wonder, why do they portray wife as a demon? :| 


It is said that marriages are made in heaven, so why are we not even happy with god’s decision?  Hmm..that's a tricky question! Lets really NOT talk about marriage!


  1. ROFL....great post...i was laughing all the way...the cartoons were hilarious...:-))
    I'm married for 4yrs and v r 2gethr for 7yrs...and v r loving it :-))...may b I'm just lucky... ;-)

  2. even i also dont have any experience about marriage but wud like to say that dur k dhol suhawane hote hai.girl frnd jab tak girl frnd rahti hai till then she is good. when she becomes wife means loads of responsibilities and so on. such kinda love which we talk about is not love in true perspective how can someone get bore with a person whom he or she loved truly. love means we accept him or her for what they are not for what they sud be.

  3. Even I've got some friends who have recently got married and like you mentioned it has truly changed their lives..I myself have no experience of marriage..oh well time will tell..

  4. Sanjana,

    You may know someone for number of years, even his or her family, but it is living together 24 X 7 which makes one know the person what he or she really is. During courtship period or affair period everything is lovey dovey but once both are officially together, expectations come into play. I will quote what Cherry Blossom ( life-and-its-color ) had written in one of her posts - Success of a marriage does not lie in finding the right partner but being one. I have written a post in 3 parts in Oct-Nov 2009 about Happy Family Life or such title. Do read that if you find time. Any relationship flourishes on some basic requirements : Mutual Respect, Mutual Trust, Giving Space, Two Way Open & Logical Communication. Sense of humour and physical part add on to the success. True love is being there for the partner without expecting anything in return.

    Enough of sermon. Must stop now before this gets longer than your post.

    Take care

  5. Ohh great to hear so much on a single topic. :)

  6. Great post. I have been married for almost an year and I have known my partner for the past 6 yrs and to be honest he was the most lousy boyfriend ever! I was really worried whether or not to marry him but am glad that I did, coz he is what u cal "marriage" material(or does that apply to gals only lol). Anyway *touchwood* I think am one of those few ppl who r really happy, Otherwise I should've been the one to crib"shaadi ke baad sab magic chala jaata hain" and all that jazz hee hee. but thank god, till now its not like that. It depends upon ur partner and also their upbringing too, if they r taught from an early age to respect, love, be honest and give another person the space they deserve, most likely that individual will follow it thru, even after marriage and I beieve that it holds a very strong part in the success of a marriage :)

  7. They say, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. I think same is the case with marriages too. Single, you will always want to see how happy couples are, how much fun they have in life, and reject the other, the contrary.
    When married, you'll always say, had I waited a little longer, or given a bit more deep thought.

    Nice article.

    Blasphemous Aesthete

  8. I would say that the post compilation is really nice and sequential.. Marriage is an institution..From ages no one have understood it clearly :)...Its great for people who make it happen and bad for people who let it happen..

  9. Its not really that all men are that way.

    Mostly, these jokes are created because men tend to have a lighter view towards things, while women bear a more serious nature.

    And, the phass gaya thing, that is because we humans have become such that we hate sharing and doing things together. (except the first few nights in bed :p)
    Hence, when she says something, it becomes an issue. Also, men like being messed up, women like being clean. Such fundamental differences cause clashes, which then leads to the statements you've quoted.

    ^ My two dollars on the matter. :)

    Brilliant post otherwise Sanj. :D
    -Epistemic Apollyon.

  10. hey...long time no post....busy?

  11. Interesting post! I have 2-3 friends (guys) who swear that gettin married was the best thing they did. That now they are more settled and responsible. These guys were huge flirts and rowdies when they were in college with me. Guys say all these things, but lik u said, in their hearts they are grateful to have found the right gal and have settled down.

    Keep writing... :)

  12. why do they portray wife as a demon??
    cauz the guy always buckles under the emotional pressure of the wife and ends up being a puppet in most of the cases! and the repetition of such acts creates a super ego in the wife and eventually the *demon*! And love is lost in the transition..