A Stranger

For, to be a stranger is naturally a very positive relation; it is a specific form of interaction. 

-Georg Simmel 

It was the freezing night of January, 2011. I think it was around 9 PM. I was coming back from office by our very own metro. I chucked that metro at Rajeev Chowk station to board in blue line metro upstairs. It was actually very cold that night and I always hated winters and also I was very tired. I somehow gathered all of my courage and went upstairs, entered CCD, ordered one cappuccino. After a while, they brought my savior with a lovely heart made upon it. I was so happy. :)

After finishing my coffee, I hurried towards the book stall there, and purchased few magazines. While exiting the stall, I noticed a young girl sitting alone on the very last bench of that platform. She looked very depressing and I contemplated that she needed some kind of help. I initially thought to myself, it’s already too late for home and I am not Mother Teresa who would go and help anyone at this odd time, and you can’t really trust anyone just like that in today’s time. I was so confused. :\

But then, humanity struck me, I went toward that girl and sat beside her on that bench. She looked something around 15-16, and I could even notice few tears in her eyes. I looked around to see whether someone’s with her or not, maybe her parents or friends, but I couldn’t find anyone there related to her. I only saw few guys there continuously looking towards her. After a moment, I tried talking to her, ‘Hi..’ She looked disinterested. After a moment, I asked, ‘are you lost?’ She did look at me but with no reply. I thought what to do so that she could talk to me. For the final time, I said, ‘if you have any sort of problem, you could tell me, maybe I could just help..’ Finally this time, she replied:

She: I’m waiting for someone..

Me : Then, why are you in tears?

She: I’m waiting for someone since morning..

Suddenly she started crying very loudly, and her answer made me very confused. She was at emotional outburst and I thought she needed someone’s help desperately.

Me : (Trying to console her) Hey, don’t get too emotional, I don’t know your difficulty but trust me everything’s going to be okay with time. It’s already very late, you should be going back to your home.

She: (with a forced smile) Thanks!

I reciprocated to her smile and started to go towards my platform.

Suddenly she grasped my hands and started telling me the story of her life, why she was crying, whom she was waiting for and all that.

She was a student of class 12th and studied in a well known school of Delhi. Both mom and dad were working. Limited friends. Virtual world seemed as the real world. At this delicate stage of her age, her world revolved around one person-her boyfriend, for whom she was waiting since morning. Boyfriend found someone else hotter than her. Not answering her calls. He had promised her to meet at the station but didn’t appear.

Me : Don’t worry! He’ll realize it soon. Just accept the reality. Try forgetting him. It may seem like to you that you are not able to forget him, but gradually you will. I can give you that in written.

She: Yeah, but..(she paused for a moment) I think you’re right. Talking to you and sharing my problems made me feel very relieved. Thanks a lot!

Me : Now get up and head towards your house without stopping anywhere and all with a smiling face.

We both hugged each other and started making a way towards our house.

It was a very distinctive conversation that I shared with someone who was complete stranger to me. I am a kind of girl who usually doesn’t talk much with any stranger. But still, I want to ask, why it happens sometimes that you can't even share your delicate feelings even with your loved ones and you don't even hesitate telling those feelings to someone you don't even know? Maybe because your closed ones know you very well and they could react to your views or feelings. They cannot stop being judgmental at your emotions. 

Today, I feel that sometimes you just need a shoulder to cry on, you need someone who can listen to your problems without being hypercritical, and it really doesn’t matter if that person is complete stranger to you.

Our life is made of several moments, few laughters, little tears and lots of emotions. At times, you wish you had someone who would listen to all your worries without judging you. The emotional bond that I shared with that stranger at that odd time, I felt was inevitable. That connection was so unique that without knowing each other’s name and background, we shared a very surreptitious piece of our life.

Even here in blogging world, we keep writing about our personal moments and feelings without any hesitation in front of several strangers and, thus, making our life an open book. You write almost everything here that you could not share with your closest friends or parents. You just need a space to give vent to your emotions. And at times, when you’re at emotional outburst, a stranger can make you feel lively again. At this point of time, I remember these lines said by German philosopher Georg Simmel in his famous article ‘The Stranger’:

A stranger is far enough away that he is unknown but close enough that it is possible to get to know him. In a society there must be a stranger. If everyone is known then there is no person that is able to bring something new to everybody. The stranger bears a certain objectivity that makes him a valuable member to the individual and society. People let down their inhibitions around him and confess openly without any fear. This is because there is a belief that the Stranger is not connected to anyone significant and therefore does not pose a threat to the confessor’s life. On one hand the stranger’s opinion does not really matter because of his lack of connection to society, but on the other the stranger’s opinion does matter because of his lack of connection to society. He holds a certain objectivity that allows him to be unbiased and decide freely without fear. He is simply able to see, think, and decide without being influenced by the opinion of others. (Wikipedia) 

Yes, I Miss You: A confession!

“You never know what you have until you lose it, and once you lose it, you can never get it back.”

It happens that sometimes you feel so odd and gloomy and when you look for a reason for this dimness, you actually fail to find any reason. Why? Is it because you are not happy with your present day? Or maybe your life? Or maybe your phone didn’t ring that day? Or is it because you suddenly start missing someone? 

Okay, tell me one thing. How it feels when you start missing someone for no reason? I personally believe that it’s not necessary to have a reason to miss someone. It’s your right to miss anything or anybody without any solid reason. When I go to any tour or trip, I miss my family. When I’m with my family, I, at times, miss my friends. I even miss my cousins, relatives and my grandmother residing in different cities. But one thing is for sure, they are just a call away, so I don’t feel gloomy. I just call them, eat their mind out and then this *missing someone volcano* which had erupted few moments ago cools down.

But what if you start missing someone with whom you don’t have any type of contact? What if you get a strong urge to talk to that person again after years? Suddenly, you start realizing that deep down in your heart you still think about that person, and still you feel for that person. You’re shocked! You’re amazed! Why is it happening again? You try to run away from this strange feeling, in fact you try very hard. Later, you realize that the more you try to run away from this feeling, the more you get wrapped up in these weird wires of emotions.

What to do now? You don’t want to get through this outlandish sensation all over again. You shed tears, you cry and you scream. You now start looking for something to get you engaged, so that you don’t start missing that person again. But everything goes in vain, you don't have any choice but to confess to yourself, that yes, still you miss that someone. Believe me, missing someone is a very terrible emotion, because it’s something on which you don’t have any control.

Recently, I was going through these brainless emotions. It was really bad, I was missing someone with whom I have not talked for years. It was, in fact, very strange because I never had missed that person in recent years. Now, I really wish to talk to that person. I curse myself for letting that person go so easily.

I only can say that, you may not realize the worth of a person till the time he’s with you. You only realize it when you don’t have that person to guide you, to smile you and to love you. You realize that you’re so hollow without that special one. Now, there’s no one who would actually listen to your rubbish without any complaints. Actually, you’re so incomplete.

Trust me, never let anyone go from your life easily. You may regret it later.

 

Paradigm Shift!

Below is the article which I had read years ago in a magazine, and I truly loved this article! Believe me, this article really inspires me sometimes and always makes me smile. I just thought to share it with you guys :)

Imagine you’re in Delhi’s International airport. While you’re waiting for your flight, you notice a kiosk selling cookies. You buy a box, put them in your traveling bag and patiently search for an available seat so that you can sit down and enjoy your cookies.

Finally, you find a seat next to a gentleman. You reach down into your traveling bag and pull out your box of cookies.

As you do so, you notice that the gentleman starts watching you intently. He stares as you open the box and his eyes follow your hand as you pick up the cookie and bring it to your mouth. Just then he reaches over and takes one of your cookies from the box and eats it! You’re more than a little surprised at this. Actually, you’re at a loss for words. Not does he take one cookie, but also alternates with you. For every one cookie you take, he takes one.

Now, what’s your immediate impression of this guy? Crazy? Greedy? He’s got some nerve! Can you imagine the words you might use to describe this man to your associates back at your school, college, office or whatever?

Meanwhile, you both continue eating the cookies until there’s just one left. To your surprise, the man reaches over and takes it. But then he does something unexpected. He breaks it in half and gives half to you. After he finished with his half he gets up and without a word, he leaves.

You think to yourself, “Does this really happen?” You’re left sitting there dumbfounded and still hungry. So you go back to the kiosk and buy another box of cookies. You the return to your seat and begin opening your new box of cookies when you glance down into your traveling bag. Sitting there in your bag is your original box of cookies- still unopened.

Only then you realize that when you reached down earlier, you had reached into the other man’s bag and grabbed his box of cookies by mistake.

Now what do you think of the man? Generous? Tolerant? You’ve just experienced a profound paradigm shift. You’re seeing things from a new point of view. 

Is it time to change your point of view? Now, think of this incident as it relates to your life. Things may not be what they seem.

Don’t pay too much attention to what you’re already seeing…but to what you’re missing.

Young Forever!

Few days back, one interesting thing happened.  It was kind of very soothing night here in Delhi, slightly cold breeze and partially clear sky. I was enjoying every bit of this lovely weather while standing in my balcony. Suddenly my ears heard few calming tunes of black and white era. Okay, after a minute I was able to recognize the song, it was, ‘Zindagi bhar nahi bhoolegi woh barsaat ki raat..’ and I too started humming this song, actually to be true I was not humming, I was literally screaming. All of a sudden my neighbor came outside in his balcony and started staring me. He then asked me whether I like this song. I nodded my head in agreement. Then we just started talking on random topics and laughed and gossiped. Then his wife also joined us in his balcony and later I came to know that it was wife’s birthday and they were celebrating it and were dancing on that song which I was trying to sing in my very high pitched voice few moments back. Then they invited me to join them in their celebration, and I was like, okay..I am just coming in a bit. I was back at my room and was searching my cupboards for a book to wrap it up quickly and give it to them as a gift. The book was a Hindi novel named as ‘Gunaahon ke Devta’ by Dharamvir Bharti. (I only have read few pages of this book, and I find this novel too filmy. Basically, I don’t like anything and/or anyone which/who is filmier than me :P) I always wanted to get rid of this book, and this occasion, I felt, was the bestest chance to get rid of it. ;)

Next moment, I gave them their book, and they were like..areh arreh, iski kya jarurat thi and I murmured to myself I don’t care whether you need it or not but I truly need to get rid of this book :P. Later they offered me a big piece of cake (if somehow I would have known that they would be offering me this ultra big piece of cake, then I would really not have joined them in their party because I hate cakes X-( ) While I was trying to eat that super big piece of cake, I noticed that there were only three people in that room and it was really odd to see an old couple to celebrate any occasion this blissfully without their sons or daughters or relatives. So I enquired them about their family, education, social life, favorite movies and songs and blah blah like any FBI agent. And they even patiently answered my each and every question. They have only one son who lives abroad and comes to India once or twice in 3-4 years. Even when he is home he spends most of his time with his friends. I noticed that they became very emotional while talking about their beloved son and I could even see their wrinkled eyes getting wet, but at the very same time they told me that they don’t hold any grudges against their son instead they feel happy that their son is very well settled in some European country. But actually, I could sense the pain in those happy words.

But still I was so puzzled that this couple is so aged (they were something around 65 or 70), how they have managed to be so happy and still so healthy, so I asked them this question. You know what they said? They said, ‘LOVE’, love for each other which is still as fresh as morning’s air and as sacred as the Geeta. Believe me, this one word answer touched my soul. I never had expected this answer, and I couldn’t say anything but just smile.

I now meet them almost every day and trust me I never have seen this couple worried or sad. I don’t know from where they get so much passion and courage to lead this life so delightfully. They play badminton and volleyball with little kids in our apartment, they sing, they dance, they crack jokes and they are so much in love with each other and most importantly they respect this miracle called ‘life’. I believe, they have something extra ordinary in them and I am still wondering what that extra ordinary thing is.

Humph, I guess that’s what we call ‘Living life king size’ :P, but jaate jaate ek sher arz hai ;)

“Apni jawani ka gurur kisko hai Ghalib, Jawani umra se nahi karishme se jhalakni chahiye..”

Two shameful moments!

Anshan is finally over, but not worth it.

Nobody cared!

Above in the two different photos, lays two shameful moments for the world’s largest democracy.  In the first photograph, all the saints and spiritual gurus across the India gathered at the Himalayan hospital in Jollygrant in Dehradun to request Yoga guru Baba Ramdev to chuck his ‘so-called’ Anshan against corruption and black money. And in the second one, a 34-year old ascetic, Swami Nigamanada who had been fasting for almost four months to protest illegal mining and stone crushing along the Ganga near Haridwar died at the same hospital in Dehradun on Monday.

My first reaction after seeing this disturbing news on TV was like, ‘ohh f*ck man, where’s India heading..’ Believe it or not, but this news seemed to me a very serious problem for India and Indians. I mean, after 2 weeks of so much media hype and chaos in the country and after the verbal war between different political parties for Ramdev, Baba finally took off his anshan without any conclusion, and the very same day we hear about the demise of Swami Nigamananda. These two news, are so very much politically, socially and morally contradicting.

It was not even an hour that Baba Ramdev was shifted to hospital and many ministers, spiritual gurus started visiting him but not even a single minister or guru cared to take a look of Swami Nigamananda. Why so? Is it because Swami Nigamananda’s anshan was not a VIP anshan or maybe he didn’t chose Delhi for his anshan or is it because he sat on anshan to save our national river Ganga in Haridwar which is considered highly sacred and pious for us?

I am so confused, shocked and don’t have any answers for these questions.  Do you have any answers?